Near the end of Sunday’s home opener against the Bills, longtime Chicago Bears superfan Bill Swerski checked to see when the upcoming hockey season was set to begin.

“Ah, ya know, I was just taking a break from watching da game to check da schedule of a certain team from a certain city,” said Swerski. “Of course, I’m referring to Da Marauders of Da Ice, Da Hawks.”

Asked whether the Hawks or Bears would win in a head-to-head matchup on the gridiron, Swerski was careful to be diplomatic in his response.

“Ditka. Can I go with Ditka? How about Da Bulls? I really don’t want to choose between Da Bears and Da Hawks right now,” said Swerski. “All I know for sure is that Da Coach must be spinning in his swivelly broadcaster chair when he sees the lack of defense on display in Da Home of Butkus. Maybe Duncan Keith could give these guys down there at Soldier Field a few pointers. Whad’ya think?”

“Also, nobody tell Butkus about what happened against Buffalo!”