Amid reports and visual evidence that Amazonia Arena in Manaus is woefully unprepared for World Cup play, FIFA officials have admitted it was a mistake to make the same grounds crew that cares for Soldier Field responsible for the stadium’s turf conditions.
“In hindsight, yes, we should not have hired Mike and the guys from Chicago to maintain our field,” said a FIFA official. “But you know how these things work. Someone’s nephew needed a handout, some palms were greased and, of course, this is Chicago and FIFA we’re talking about.”
“On the bright side, everybody made money on this deal.”
Meanwhile, the first World Cup match at Amazonia Arena is on Saturday between Italy and England.
“Oh, da field will be fine,” said Mike Markowski, head groundskeeper. “Dirt. Grass. If the Bears can play on it, I’m sure some Europeans can kick a soccer ball around for a few hours without getting hurt. We’ll just have to see how the sod holds up after the Bon Jovi concert Friday night.”