Many fans attending Cubs games this year have noticed the largely poor condition of the ivy covering the outfield walls at Wrigley Field. Bare in some spots and thin in others, the usual thick covering is absent so far this year.
Cubs President Theo Epstein said fans shouldn’t worry, assuring them that everything is coming along according to his plan.
“We know that the ivy isn’t quite up to par this year. But if fans are patient they can expect it to be the best in baseball by at least 2017,” he said. “We have some exciting young gardeners who we’ve pre-hired out of a local rural high school’s agricultural program. These kids are the best prospects in terms of fertilizer knowledge and pruning techniques.”
Epstein also said that the condition of the ivy has been a problem that preceded his tenure with the ball club. “The previous management would take old high-priced ivy that was strong and vigorous in its heyday, and replant it among the younger ivy. But the older more experienced ivy would just wilt up and die.”
Added Epstein: “We appreciate the patience of our fan base while they spend the next few years continuing to look at the rotting corpse of something that once had so much life and promise.”