After the White Sox started the year with four wins in their first nine games, fans throughout the city have deluded themselves about why the CTA repaired the southbound Red Line train before the 2014 season.

Despite lacking in logic, common sense, or other traits one might expect from a grown adult, Sox fan and Beverly native Lee Woodruff expressed his appreciation for the CTA’s timely completion of the project, allowing easy access for Sox fans to enjoy watching World Series caliber baseball all season long, and especially during October.

“I mean, the foresight of the CTA to predict that last year’s Sox team was going to be a bust despite my comments on every article available online stating otherwise, just really goes to show how special this year’s team is gonna be,” said Woodruff, while wearing his custom #69 White Sox retro jersey. “If you would have told me that Paulie wasn’t going to stay healthy the whole season and that Brett Morell was going to have a sub-par year 12 months ago, I would have probably punched you in the jaw.”

Despite the team playing what has been described as “Little League ball” by its own broadcaster, Woodruff remains confident Adam Dunn is “due for a breakout year” and that Alexei Ramirez “can’t get worse,” which apparently will lead to another parade come November.

“Score one for the CTA this year!” said Woodruff. “And put one on the board for the good guys!”

By Stephen Donnelly