Cubs fan Todd Benson was a little less embarrassed than he thought he would be after checking the NL Central standings this evening, thanks to the letter H appearing in the alphabet just before I.

“Both the Cubs and Reds are 3-6, but thanks to ‘Chi’ being alphabetically superior to ‘Cin,’ the Cubs actually look like they’re in fourth place all alone,” said Benson. “And frankly, I’ll take it!”

Cubs manager Rick Renteria agreed.

“I’m willing to grab onto anything positive right now,” said the skipper. “Nobody else may think we’re the better team, but that’s the way the alphabet wants it. If only we could get math on our side, then we’d really be going places.”