Frustrated by lengthy delays to Wrigley Field’s long-overdue renovations caused largely by legal battles with the rooftop owners across the street from the stadium, Cubs owner Tom Ricketts strapped on a tool belt and took matters into his own hands Tuesday afternoon.

“That’s it,” said a visibly frustrated Ricketts. “I’m starting these god-damn renovations myself.”

Ricketts said he estimated the project would take him no more than 30 years to complete, unless he could perhaps convince President of Business Operations Crane Kenney to “get up off his ass and actually do something useful for once.”

The scope of the $500 million project will be scaled back significantly. For example, the originally planned 6,000-square-foot video board in left field will be replaced by a 10-year-old flat screen TV Tom’s brother Todd found in an alley near the park. Still, Ricketts vowed to persevere.

Added Ricketts: “Before I get started, can anyone show me how to use a hammer?”

Image by Joel Nielsen