It’s safe to say that no man/woman/animal/button collection has ever hurt you as much as a wide right or disgraceful draft pick can. It’s also safe to say that most people can’t recall the first time they said “I love you” to their spouse or significant other, but ask them about where they were and what they were doing when Tyson took a bite out of Holyfield’s ear, or when they thought for sure the Alabama-Auburn game was going into overtime, but then a miracle happened. The fact of the matter is, relationships come and go, but love for your team or favorite athlete, that is something you hold forever. Need convincing? Well, then read on:

 1. Miracles Happen
You maybe get two, perhaps three epic moments in a 20-year marriage. Well in football, you get a entire season of one-handed catches, 64 yard field goals, and seeing your team play a little defense. Hell, maybe make a couple of tackles and sacks.

2. There’s Always Next Year
A person can break your heart and just make you feel like scum, nasty cockroach infested scum. But with sports, there’s next year, there is a new coach, new quarterback, new draft picks, new trades. There is hope, in the otherwise bleak world.

3. You Get to Drink As Much As You Please
Beer. Of all flavors and brands. Drink and be merry, it’s all part of your commitment to the game.

4. Completely Acceptable to Be an Emotional Hot Mess
No decent man should judge you for crying over an emotional game. Real men cry over a torn ACL.

5.Passion is Celebrated
Man cave full of Chicago Bears Memorabilia, Check. Tattoo of Mike Ditka on a certain lower region. Check. Personalized home-game jerseys that read “Jay Suckler.” Check.

6. You Need a Emotional Break from that Embarrassment of a Season, Here, Take Six Months
And guess what, they’ll be back next year, promising to do and be better. Hopefully without Cutler.

7. There is a Support Group for When Things Go Sour
Listen to the radio, read the message boards, shout absurdities when you see a player riding the El during the off season. I bet someone is going to back up your feelings. Even if that guy was already talking and singing to himself. You my friend, have an ally.

8. You Are Always Right
Technically you and the other thousands of disappointed fans are in this relationship all by your lonesome. But that is perfectly fine. Because when Lovie Smith was canned, you know deep down inside your rage and constant throwing of empty beer cans at the TV had something to do with it.

By Jabbo Marshall