Carl Weathers, master thespian and former Oakland Raider, watches every NFL game from his man cave to compile his weekly Power Rankings exclusively for Heckler readers. Mr. Weathers, despite playing only eight career NFL games, was elected to the Pro Football Hall of Fame in 1980.

10 – Cincinnati Bengals Cincy Cats Claw Chargers 17-10! Who dey turned out the lights on the San Diego offense? Cincinnati, that who! A.J. Green scores decisive TD on strike from Andy Dalton.
9 – Detroit Lions It looked like someone rubbed Packer QB Matt Flynn in gravy the way the Lions D-line went after him (7 sacks, one for a safety) in 40-10 Turkey Thrashing. Matt Stafford throws for 330 yards/3 TDs.
8 – San Francisco 49ers Wham bam, down go the Rams! 49ers neuter mountain dwellers 23-13 behind Colin Kaepernick’s 296 total yards and TD pass.
7 – Kansas City Chiefs Chiefs are starting to resemble the Royals, drop 3rd straight game 35-28 to Broncos. Alex Smith passes for 293 yards and 2 TDs in game K.C. led 21-7.
6 – Carolina Panthers Panthers Cam the ball down Bucs throats in 27-6 spanking. The Newton Bomb throws for 2 TDs and runs for one in team’s eighth straight win.
5 – New Orleans Saints Drew Brees denied sainthood in Seattle! #9 only throws for 147 yards and has a fumble returned for a TD in 34-7 loss to Seahawks.
4 – New England Patriots Brady’s Bunch trample Texans 34-31 behind that sweet one-two combo of Mr. Brady (371 yards passing) and Gronk (127 yards receiving and a TD).
3 – Seattle ‘Hawks Monday Night Raw in the Pacific Northwest! The Rumble near Rainier goes to ‘Hawks behind 310 yards/3TDs from Russell Wilson, Saints lucky to leave with their feelings intact.
2 – Denver Broncos Decker the Halls with boughs of touchdowns! Master of Disaster Eric Decker scores 4 TDs at Arrowhead as Broncos tighten their grip on AFC West.
1 – Oakland Raiders This date in Raider History: In 1973 John Madden uses the term “Boom” for the first time while designing a play to crush Terry Bradshaw.

Program note – The December 8th edition of the untelevised NFL pregame show starring myself and Marv Levy will be black this week, Marv has been suspended one week for contacting an official while watching Bills OT loss to Atlanta.

Patrick O. Elia