In a truly inspiring story that has everybody from The Real Housewives of New Jersey to the Kardashian family media circus just heartbroken, San Diego rookie linebacker Manti Te’o paused to pay tribute to Lenny Kakua, his fake internet girlfriend, who died one year ago today. He performed the traditional fake girlfriend honoring ceremony at halftime of the Chargers game against the Miami Dolphins.
For Te’o to do things the right way, this meant waiting until halftime for a special presentation that was co-sponsored by the Bravo Network and “Real World-Road Rules Season 164, Now it’s Finally Personal.”
To commemorate the loss of his make-believe Canadian Girlfriend/internet-Catfish Hoax Love-of-his-life, Te’o dropped to his knees once the cameras were rolling and placed some plastic flowers in a man-made river with an artificial stream as he lit some electric battery-operated faux candles that burned their brightest once the AAA batteries were installed.
This symbolic gesture was meant to show the world that when a passionate tryst with a counterfeit woman ends suddenly and tragically, you shower her with the most passionate love of all, that normally reserved for MTV shows such as “The Hook-Up,” “Friend Zone” and “Date my Mom Because We’re Desperate for Cash.”
So touched was everybody in the stadium that suspended Dolphins linebacker Richie Incognito even got mushy.
“If anybody here is even thinking about being mean to this kid, they’re going to have to deal with me,” said Incognito. “Manti has been through enough so leave him alone and let him grieve!”