LeBron James got married last weekend and all was well until James was told he can’t add his wedding ring to his two NBA championship rings in his attempt to catch Michael Jordan’s five rings.

“Aw man, a ring’s a ring,” James said. “ESPN told me I could include it. They love me there. Could I buy other players’ rings or do I really have to win give more to pass Michael? Man, that’s a lot of flopping.”

When reached for comment, Jordan said, “As a joke, I called LeBron and congratulated him on getting married, and then I told him I was returning to the NBA again to get more rings. He hung up.”

Mariotti Jr.