The Bears-Packers rivalry reached unprecedented heights this week when it was announced that Jay Cutler would get his very own mixed drink named after him. This move was made in direct response to Aaron Rodgers getting a burger named after him earlier in the week. Although the rivalry between the two storied franchised dates all the way back to 1921, this move was seen as the ultimate in gamesmanship and heated competition, something far grander than their combined 22 NFL Championships and 5 Superbowl victories.

Rodgers’ customized “Monster Cheeseburger,” which includes bacon, peanut butter, swiss cheese and crispy fried onion rings in addition to a do-it-yourself Angioplasty kit, was originally created to raise money for charity. Not wanting to miss a beat, the Bears let Cutler and his team of mixologists from the Evil Olive night club on Ashland Avenue create their own drink.

Cutler’s mixed drink, the “ruby slipper fuzzy navel tanqueray and lady lemon juicy fizz sweetie blast,” will also raise money for charity, with over 10% of the proceeds going towards the 2014 Lake Bluff Girls Debutante Ball.

Cutler’s drink, to quote spokesmodels Desiree and Flashdance, will be mixed with “equal parts skinny-girl margarita mix courtesy of Bethenny Frankel from the Real Housewives of NYC whom we just love, as well as perky raspberries, grapefruit zingers, apple martini sorbet and a splash of sugar, spice and everything nice.”

When asked how soon the drink could go on sale at Soldier Field, an anonymous source within the Bears organization was quoted as saying “Never!”

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