Disgraced former congressman and current New York City Mayoral candidate Anthony Weiner brought more criticism upon himself today when it was revealed that as a result of inadvertently giving out his credit card while sexting, he had agreed to pay for extensive renovations to Wrigley Field.
A despondent Weiner explained that while doing important campaign research, he stumbled upon the names “sexy female Cubs” and “Fukudome.” As he was so focused on the Mayoral race, Weiner didn’t have time to notice that he had already pulled out his credit card and entered the 16-digit number as well as his three digit pin code.
At the last point of the conversation when he was asked, “Are you sure you want to use your credit card to agree to buy $500 million dollars to improve Wrigley Field?” Weiner clicked “yes.”
Meanwhile, Cubs fans could not be happier. The long-awaited renovations are expected to provide a brand-new Jumbotron in center field as well as running water and soap inside all of the Wrigley Field Bathrooms. In a press release this morning, President Theo Epstein acknowledged what Weiner’s generosity did for the Chicago Cubs organization as well as for the cash-strapped city of Chicago.
“For years, the Cubs have been ridiculed for their inadequate facilities, and to have one generous man unknowingly agree to give us $500 million while searching for ‘Goats, Choking and Stadium View’ was just outstanding,” said Epstein.
Weiner’s long-suffering wife Huma Abedin agreed to stand by her husband through this latest scandal in spite of the fact he just ran up a half-billion dollar credit card bill to fix a stadium thousands of miles away from where they live in New York city.
“I love my husband and he and I will work through this as we have worked through other issues in the past,” said Abedin. “This is difficult, especially because we are both Mets fans, however we will make this work.”
When told that her husband may have inadvertently used his credit card for stadium repairs for the Oakland Raiders, the Detroit Red Wings arena and the pitch at Manchester United, Abedin just placed her hands on her forehead and nodded disapprovingly.