With the MLB trade deadline approaching and speculation about him being traded increasing, Alfonso Soriano has revealed that he will waive his no-trade clause for only one team: the 2007 Chicago Cubs.

“In addition to me making a huge amount of money over a very long contract again, I like that the crazy older manager let me start the season in center field and batted me lead-off,” Soriano explained. “That was fun getting extra at-bats.”

When told by the Cubs front office that his trade request couldn’t possibly happen, Soriano was disappointed.

“Is Mr. Hendry working for another team?” he asked. “I sure would like to make $136 million over eight years with a no-trade contract again. He was a super nice guy.”

A. Waite