The small island nation of Vancouver has suffered numerous riots and violent uprisings associated with the lack of success the Vancouver Canucks typically experience during the NHL postseason. This year is predicted to be no exception as peacekeeping troops have been proactively deployed around the turbulent region to hopefully prevent any possible criminal activity before it starts.

This is not the first time the United Nations has sought to make peace with the savage Vancouver natives during their postseason struggles. Missionaries have often paid visits to the Canuck fans, passing out toiletries and bibles, hoping the extra comfort would give them some solace in their bouts of anger and grief. Typically, the smell of burning rubber was the peacekeepers’ only reward.

The strong show of force is intended to promote restraint and encourage Canuck fans to find other, less violent means for venting their frustration, such as heavy drinking or vigorous excercise that doesn’t involve punching or kicking somebody. The world is watching Vancouver tonight as we¬†continue to hope for a peaceful outcome to the annual playoff disappointment.