After finding themselves in the middle of the pack in most statistical categories through the first three weeks of the season, the Cubs today announced the hiring of the dad who can’t throw in that Volkswagen commercial as their new pitching coach.
General Manager Jed Hoyer admitted during the introductory press conference that while the dad can’t throw in that Volkswagen commercial has no big league experience of any kind, his coaching ability is obvious.
“He’s definitely shown the son in the commercial how to pitch with specific and repeated positive instruction even though he’s really, really bad,” said Hoyer. “Our staff is very young as well, and will benefit from his proven leadership.”
Asked about the likelihood of adding the son from the commercial to the bullpen, Hoyer emphatically responded, “Absolutely.”