The hopes and dreams of Tom Ricketts and his family to turn sports’ most lovable losers into perennial champions came to an abrupt end Wednesday after a severed goat head was delivered to Wrigley Field Wednesday. Shortly after the package was discovered Ricketts announced he would be selling the team immediately.

“Screw this. I’m out!” Ricketts was heard saying after a three-hour Wrigleyville drinking binge Wednesday evening. “Greedy rooftop owners, crooked politicians, a doofus brother, worthless ballplayers, I can handle, but severed animal heads? No thanks!”