As news of Cowboys receiver Dez Bryant’s fractured finger spread, Cowboys owner and GM Jerry Jones began to contemplate potential replacement options.

“Well, let’s see. Could always give T.O. a call, I guess,” Jones said to himself. “Roy Williams is probably not busy. Always liked those guys.”

“Of course, there is a certain former all-conference free agent out there I’ve had my eye on for awhile,” Jones said as he turned to face the gigantic mirror that lines an entire wall of his suite. He then grinned and winked at his own reflection. “Yes sir. Just the guy for the job.”

Jones then turned and looked up at the ceiling: a recreation of Michelangelo’s Sistine Chapel painting that features, in place of God reaching out to Adam, a nude depiction of Jones handing the Lombardi Trophy to another nude depiction of Jones.

“The old legs still have some life in them,” he said. “And I’ve certainly been saving my hands by having someone else wash my glasses all these years.”

Having made up his mind to replace Bryant, he sat at his desk and began to design plays that called for Jones to pass the ball to himself.

Jay R.