The Boston Red Sox recently signed David ‘Big Papi’ Ortiz to a two-year deal worth up to $30 million, an overblown contract for a 37-year-old designated hitter that leads many to believe there is more than beer flowing in the Boston clubhouse.

According to Stephen Wazinowicz, a Boston area police officer, possible substances that could influence a decision like this are meth, LSD, cocaine and marijuana.

“Basically, any kind of reality-altering narcotic,” he said.

Ortiz was being discussed as a trade option earlier this year when he went down with an Achilles strain, but this abrupt change of thinking has prompted a number of fans and journalists to demand Red Sox GM Ben Cherington be tested for drugs.