In an interview today, broadcaster Steve Stone admitted he hasn’t comprehended a single sentence his partner Ken “Hawk” Harrelson has uttered since teaming up with the veteran Sox announcer several years ago.

“I came in here knowing the quirkiness of Hawk, but never expected to be totally confused during every second of the broadcast,” he said.

Stone revealed that after the first broadcast he had to go back and listen to the tape to see if any of his responses to phrases like “Ducksnort” and “Dadgummit” were in any way correct.

“I was just guessing as to what those phrases meant, and tried to use his body language as a barometer to judge whether the phrase was a result of something good, or something bad,” said Stone. “Now I just shut off his feed to my headphones and pretend he’s not there. It’s much easier that way.”

Another reason he’s had trouble is the sheer distance Hawk sits from him during games. “I mean he’s 20 to 30 feet away in the broadcast booth, like I have leprosy or something.”

John F