With a lengthy lockout looming for the NHL and its fans, players are looking for new options to play the sport they love. Many top names are abandoning the season to head to leagues in Europe and Russia. Blackhawks stars had been mum on whether they plan to play across the Atlantic, until today, when Patrick Kane announced his imminent departure.

“Yeah, I plan on playing in Europe this year,” the star winger said. “But you know, why make a decision now? Why not just go and live it up like I’m Mr. Smirnoff? That way I can test drive the team and the city. Who has softer bar tops to pass out on, Moscow or Stockholm? Which city is crawling with more chicks, Warsaw or Helsinki? Plus I heard you don’t have to tip cab drivers, so I’m in the clear! ”

Kane did not seem concerned about a time frame for his search or its results. In fact, he didn’t seem concerned with much when it came to his approaching journey. Kane listed no teams, players or coaches in his statements. He seemed sure about one thing though; Kane’s adventure is going to be epic, that is, if he can remember it.