Bears fans worried the team’s offensive line will be a liability can rest a little easier today, as troubled lineman J’Marcus Webb has been moved to the newly created “Left Sackle” position.

“This really shores up the line and takes a lot of pressure off J’Marcus,” said offensive coordinator Mike Tice. “Coaching is about putting players in the position to succeed. If his only role is to give up sacks, the guy can’t fail. It’s his specialty!”

If the move is successful, Tice plans to incorporate the unorthodox approach on defense as well by sliding all four corners and safeties to the “Suckondary.”

Heckler George