Many fans have wondered where Bears middle linebacker Brian Urlacher has been this preseason. He has missed numerous practices, and has not been seen in Bourbonnais for many days. On Thursday night he showed up for the first time, patrolling the middle of the field in a wheelchair.
Speculations point to a possible knee injury, but Lovie Smith squashed rumors this morning: “Rex, I mean Brian Urlacher is our middle linebacker, he will just play in a wheelchair. This is what we imagined this year.”
Fans are irate, especially with the Bears training staff, one that in recent years allowed Jay Cutler to re-enter a game concussed, performed Johnny Knox’s back surgery in the clubhouse and backed the validity of the Brian Robinson dog tripping incident.
When questioned by reporters, Urlacher defended his new hardware.
“I told everyone they were fools when they suggested surgery this offseason,” said Urlacher. “I should be even better when they install ramps and make the grass wheelchair accessible.”
Photoshop by Joel Nielsen