When Derrick Rose went down in the playoffs last season, fans were introduced to the new look Bulls, one of sheer mediocrity and John Lucas sightings. Buried in salary cap restraints, the Bulls have signed bums like Kirk Hinrich, Vladimir Radmanovic, Dickey Simpkins and several Scalabrine look-a-likes, leaving many fans angry and confused.
The Bulls front office, which appears to be resigned to awful basketball until Derrick Rose returns, has changed the team’s mascot to Denny the Devil, to better represent the “Basketball Hell” fans will experience this year.
“We need a new look that says ‘we’re screwed this year’ so fans don’t get their hopes up,” said Bulls executive Gar Forman. “Benny kinda looks like a devil so we just added a menacing goatee and pitchfork.”
Along with the new look, Denny will better embody the emotions of the 2012-2013 Bulls by complaining loudly to children during commercial breaks, sleeping for entire quarters — much like the Bulls offense — and carrying around a “Funk is a Hunk” sign because that was never funny.