When the Bulls announced earlier this month they were moving from their suburban headquarters and practice facility to a yet-to-be-identified downtown location in a few years, they made sure everyone associated with the team was informed, except Carlos Boozer.

“Everyone is speculating that we’re going to amnesty Carlos at some point over the next couple seasons, but that’s pretty expensive and involves a lot of paperwork,” said Bulls GM Gar Forman. “It would just be so much easier Houdini’d on him when we leave the Berto Center for good.”

Forman said an official plan hasn’t been concocted, but they will probably use Boozer’s weaknesses to distract him from the team’s big move.

“We’re probably going to have a psycho sexy reality TV offer to take him to a big sale on head polish at a tattoo parlor that specializes in cheesy artwork,” said Forman. “That’ll keep him busy for at least a couple months and by then we’ll be long gone.”