The bi-annual bar fight, that is now known as the BP Crosstown Classic, has shifted to the South Side this week. Historically, fights between the two sides of fans usually originate in the stands, at home plate or between Carlos Zambrano and whomever walks in front of him. This year however, with such hot weather, fights have been breaking out in and around the center field shower at U.S. Cellular Field.

It seems that Sox fans are possessive of the shower, which happens to be their only source of clean water. Cubs fans on the other hand, believed the line for the shower was actually an overpriced, stuffy bar in their neighborhood. With such hot weather bearing down on them, fans are breaking down and doing what comes naturally during a Cubs/Sox series, punching those different from them.

“I told that dope from Lincoln Park, I need this water, my trailer park tank ran out a couple years ago, and my sister is getting married on Saturday,” said Mitch Williams Jr. of Joliet. “So I slugged him. What I am I supposed to do? He was wearing blue!”

Fifteen fans were taken away in cuffs, none more animated than Cubs fan Joesph McDonald of Andersonville:

“I was walking around in the bleachers looking for babes, when I saw this line,” said McDonald. “I waited like 40 minutes to get into what I thought was John Barleycorn, but it just turned out to be a shower. I hit someone when I gave a 10 to a guy and he wouldn’t give me his beer. Service was better than Barleycorn though.”

Brew Dreesus