Following a season in which Chicago’s power play crippled the franchise, the league has recognized the Blackhawks’ ineffectual special team by awarding it the Vezina Trophy, normally reserved for the top goalie in the NHL.

“While I can’t say I’m proud of the award, at least we got something,” said Hawks assistant coach Mike Kitchen. “Like I always tell the guys when I scribble on the clipboard: just toss the puck around and things will happen!”

According to the league, they simply had no choice.

“I mean you saw what [Phoenix Coyotes goalie] Mike Smith did against them,” said NHL commissioner Gary Bettman. “With all due respect to the netminders in the league, this was an obvious choice.”

Story Idea inspired by Chris Weiland on Facebook

Heckler George