Die-hard White Sox fan Dennis Delzinski can’t wait to head to U.S. Cellular Field to get hammered while watching his team take on the Tigers Friday afternoon. It will be a great change of pace for the 45-year-old forklift operator, who normally does his day-drinking at his job site rather than a baseball stadium.
“Yeah, you know, I like to switch stuff up,” said Delzinski. “It’s nice to get drunk somewhere other than the plant every once in a while so I might as well do it at the Sox opener.”
Delzinski admitted he hadn’t followed the team that closely this off-season, instead choosing to spend his time focusing on life’s other requirements, like dodging his family and doing just enough to get by at work without being fired.
“It’s amazing how needy my kids can be,” said Delzinski. “You’d think each of their baby momma’s would do enough to keep them happy, but the needy little bastards still can’t change their own diapers so I have to pitch in every once in a while.”
Delzinski said he couldn’t wait for what he said was a “well-earned” break from reality while getting drunk and cheering on his favorite Sox players and coaches.
“I can’t wait to see how Ozzie motivates Buehrle, Carlos Quentin and the rest of my favorite White Sox players,” said Delzinksi. “I’m expecting big things this year from the whole crew. Big things.”