Much like other blue-collar workers in Chicago, Blackhawks enforcer Brandon Bollig will be paid time-and-a-half for the extra work he’ll be asked to put in as the team extends its season beyond 82 games.

“It just wouldn’t be fair to ask Brandon to mash people’s faces in for his usual salary,” said GM Stan Bowman. “Normally at this time of year he’d be brawling in Rockford bars and clubs. But since he has to work during the postseason, we clearly want to make it worth his while.”

Bollig will be paid $125/game, plus a $500 weekly stipend to cover any wrist or knuckle injuries he may incur.

Heckler George