After losing in ugly fashion to the Tampa Bay Rays in the first two games of the 2012 MLB season, the New York Yankees, seeing “no possible way to be successful,” have officially forfeited the rest of their games. Ownership has said that there is no point to playing anymore since there is no chance of the team making the playoffs or even winning any games the rest of the season. The decision was unanimously agreed upon by the team’s front office and enormous fan base.

“It was actually an easier decision than you might think,” GM Brian Cashman said Sunday. “Because we lost both games of the first 1/81st portion of the season, we can’t come back and become a successful playoff team come October. I mean, if this team doesn’t win every single game of every season, then there is no reason to think we can be good.”

Commissioner Bud Selig approved of the decision.

“I agree that the Yankees shouldn’t finish their last 160 games if they can’t win the first 160,” said Selig. “To counteract the loss of their games from the season slate, the Baltimore Orioles season has been forfeited as well because they didn’t really have a chance of being good either.”