In an effort to save as much money as possible in light of recently announced Wrigley Field renovation plans, the Cubs opted to forgo the traditional yet very costly Blue Angel flyover during Thursday’s Opening Day ceremonies. Instead, in a nod to current events, following the National Anthem there was a series of drive-by shootings at the corner of Addison and Clark.

“The sound of automatic gunfire, squealing tires and ambulance sirens got the heart pumping just as fast as the sight of supersonic jets in perfect formation,” a Cubs spokesman said. “Our intent was to get the crowd amped up and nothing does that quite like a good old-fashioned turf war.”

It remained unclear which of Chicago’s notorious street gangs participated in the ceremony.

Late-arriving fans were encouraged not to loiter outside the main gate.