If giving up 10 runs on 14 hits, including six long balls, is any indication of what’s to come, the Chicago White Sox might have long thoughts about supposed ace right-hander, Jake Peavy.
In a secret sandlot outing featuring a bus full of local junior high students, Peavy was shelled in only three innings of work. His 84 mph fastball was the cause of three broken windows and the skulling of 91-year-old Minnie Ripast, who was hanging clothes in her backyard.
“What the hell was he doing down there?” asked homeowner Marco Billeto. “Was he throwing the ball underhand?“
Peavy’s bulldog nature and ill-advised optimism allayed all Sox fan fears, however.
“I was just getting loose, pumping my fastball in there for location. I was working on a few new wrinkles like the ‘long flyball pitch,’ the screaming liner pitch and my new tape measure home run foul ball,’ he said. “I am ready to go. These kids gave me a workout. One 11-year-old hit better than Dunn did last year. I was just having some fun out there.”
Sox fans can only hope Peavy can reach his former level of mediocrity by midseason.