Bears fans might have something new to cheer about in the 2012 season with the addition of star wide receiver Brandon Marshall. Inside sources state that offensive coordinator Mike Tice has already started constructing plays that utilize what is called a “forward pass.”
This is a highly unusual football strategy that involves the quarterback thrusting the ball through the air and a player grasping the ball in their hands down the field. It has been reported that Marshall has the ability to not have a thrown football deflect wildly off of his hands.
A current Bears wide receiver that wished to remain anonymous expressed confusion when asked about the forward pass play.
“I have no idea what all of this is about,” he said. “I thought you are supposed to awkwardly flail your hands at the ball and bat it violently to the ground to confuse the defense.”
Football historians note that the last time the Bears technically attempted a forward pass was during the 1996 season when panicked quarterback Erik Kramer chucked the ball in a girly overhand fashion — while escaping under pressure — to surprised running back Rashaan Salaam. The ball bounced off of Salaam’s facemask and into the outstretched hands of the linebacker who sauntered into the end zone easily.