Young Blackhawks winger Brandon Bollig has already made his mark in Chicago, scrapping in nearly every game since his recent call-up. Daniel Carcillo made a similar impression earlier in the season, providing the top lines with energy and grit until his injury.
But now that the Hawks have ensured that Carcillo will remain with the team for at least two more years, archaeologists are making it very clear that skating the two on the same line could have grave repercussions.
“We found a note on the Mayan calendar,” said archaeologist Gilbert Scott. “It points out that around November 2012 something terrible will begin to occur. I found this funny because I didn’t realize that the Mayans also invented Post-It notes!
“Sorry. A little science humor there.”
The note reads: “The brute Bollig and the Car bomb shall henceforth come together on the frozen pond and, you know — Ba-ba-ba-BUUMMMMM!”
Archaeologists note that the translation is still very rough. Following the warning are instructions for possibly circumventing doom, including keeping the two apart and making sure they are both well-fed.
“We’re taking every possible precaution, on and off the ice,” said GM Stan Bowman. “In fact, when Daniel comes back we’ll be moving his locker to … I dunno, what’s three blocks west?”