Alfonso Soriano’s torrid spring hit an expected dead end Tuesday morning when the aging outfielder announced he was retiring, choosing to end his career on its highest note as he’s batting .571 in Cactus League play this season.

“I will never bat this well again,” said Soriano. “So I’m calling it a career effective immediately.”

Soriano also announced he’s forgoing the nearly $54 million remaining on his contract.

“The Cubs have already paid me $85 million,” said Soriano, “I think that’s more than enough. It’s my honor to finally give the Cubs and their fans a great way to remember me even if it’s during a bunch of meaningless games in March as opposed to meaningless games in September.”

hecklerbrad