Lost in the headlines of last night’s thrilling victory was the oddity that Blackhawks officials selected three middle-aged men for the ‘shoot the puck’ promo between the second and third periods, sparking a riot at the United Center.
On hand to observe the festivities were the Hawks defensemen, who seemed eager to watch the usual lineup: kid in oversized jersey, male 40-something that gets booed, and a gorgeous woman in a ridiculous outfit not fit for ice, and never seen in the 300 level.
Hawks coach Joel Quenneville was less than impressed: “Our defense came back into the locker room looking rigid and uptight, so I sent them out there to see a peep show, not that crap.”
Unfortunately, the choice of three average guys both confused and enraged the crowd.
“Where’s the cute kid and the hot chick?” slurred Bolingbrook Chet Ryan before punching the fan next to him, beginning a riot that lasted more than 12 minutes and left dozens missing teeth. “I specifically get my four beers early during the second period so I don’t miss the show, but then I have to watch a few random dudes shoot the puck? What did the Hawks expect would happen?”