According to a website that appears to be written in some weird Martian language, concussed Blackhawks captain Jonathan Toews drove his bad-ass Mercedes (definitely not a Chevy) into one of those pesky I-beams that support the El downtown. Luckily he was apparently no more injured than he already was prior to the fender-bender, but it’s pretty clear the same can’t be said about his car.

Pic from, who appears to have borrowed it from some other site, which probably borrowed it from another site, and so on.