ESPN color man Dick Vitale suffered massive cranial trauma Wednesday night when his head spontaneously combusted after Duke’s Austin Rivers sunk a last-second, three-point field goal to push the Blue Devils past North Carolina.
Vitale—known for his deep affection for the Tobacco Road rivalry—grew more and more animated as Duke climbed back from a 12-point second half deficit. Finally, in the last 30 seconds of the game, it became apparent that something was more wrong than usual with the lively announcer.
As the clock wound down, the longtime broadcaster began screaming “This is AWESOME BABY!” over and over at an increasingly frenetic pace. Finally, as Rivers’ shot fell, the broadcaster’s head burst—spewing approximately twelve pounds of red pasta-like substance onto the floor of the Dean Smith Center in Chapel Hill.
Courtside announcer, and resident piece of eye candy, Erin Andrews, was nearby to witness the event.
“I was getting ready to interview Mike Krzyzewski,” Andrews stated. “I knew I needed to get over there immediately, because Dick usually tries to French kiss Coach K after every Duke game. But when I realized Dick wasn’t pushing me out of the way, I knew something was wrong. I looked over, and realized his oversized melon was completely gone.”
ESPN is planning a memorial service. Details are sketchy at this time, but reports indicate the ceremony will be “Awesome, baby.”