When coach Joel Quenneville saw the epic three-week jaunt the Hawks would undertake following the NHL All-Star break, he made sure to put one other stop on that trip: the schedule factory.

“I wanted the guys to see the folks who work there,” said Quenneville. “That they’re real people and not evil overlords hell-bent on our destruction. Because Kaner’s been having nightmares.”

Playing nine straight road games for no reason is just the latest in a series of malfunctioning schedules the Hawks have received.

“One schedule a while ago had us playing two games in Finland,” said Duncan Keith. “That was weird. And just a couple weeks ago we played at 11 in the morning! Coach told me that wasn’t a typo. But I dunno. It still didn’t feel right.”

The team took a guided factory tour and at the end quarters were handed out so each player could make a wax schedule in the machine.

“I think I get it now,” said Brent Seabrook. “It’s just like at the cracker factory – there are a bunch of normal looking boxes of crackers, but every once in a while one slips by with a rat’s head in it. We’ve got the rat head schedule.”

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