Just a few days after Josh Hamilton admitted to a momentary alcohol relapse, another star fell off the wagon. CC Sabathia was spotted scarfing down Chicken McNuggets at a charity event.
“I didn’t realize Ronald McDonald House had an actual McDonalds inside of it,” wept the star pitcher. “One minute I’m playing with some cute kids, the next, they start handing out Happy Meals. I couldn’t say no.”
The Yankees are discussing whether or not to reprimand Sabathia for violating the “No Fast Food” clause in his lucrative contract.
“Regardless of what CC says, this isn’t the first time he’s done this,” Yankees GM Brian Cashman said. “He eats Chipotle four times a week under the guise that it is not ‘fast food,’ but ‘good food served quickly.’”
CC was fined $50,000, which the Yankees immediately donated back to the Ronald McDonald House charity.
“I think Josh said it best, I had a weak moment,” Sabathia added. “It’s just that Ronald man, he knows my weaknesses.”
Varying reports state that Sabathia was also seen ordering a king-sized box of the new Chicken McBites, but the hurler vehemently denied those charges.