With Pro Bowl excitement reaching XFL-like numbers, the NFL is scrambling for a new approach to get the players to care and/or show up this year.

MLB Commissioner Bud Selig reportedly called NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell at home to offer up his advice:

“If you want people to get excited for a game that’s completely useless, make it matter, and give a clear cut advantage to the St. Louis Card….I mean players,” he said.

This year, players from the winning Pro Bowl team are allowed to opt out of future Pro Bowls.

Tom Brady, Patriots quarterback is excited by this new incentive:

“Even though I am playing in the Big Game on Februrary 5th, I still plan to risk an injury just to get out of my Pro Bowl obligations. Every year I lie about being hurt in order to hang out with my supermodel wife at my private Hawaiian island. No longer will I have to be doubtful with ‘Bundchen-splints.”

Brew Dreesus