Mets GM Sandy Alderson has announced the team will officially petition the MLB to let them forfeit their entire 162-game schedule for the 2012 season. Reportedly, the Mets are hoping to avoid the worst record in MLB history, which would be certain to elicit more mean comments about the ineptitude of the team by Phillies starting pitcher Cole Hamels. As of right now, the terribly devoid-of-talent Mets roster is projected to win 20 games in 2012, which would give them the lowest winning percentage in baseball history.

“I just got off the phone with the commissioner’s office and our petition is officially active. We are currently waiting on the league’s ruling regarding our potential forfeiture of the 2012 season,” said Alderson at a Mets’ team event. “Our disgraceful current roster includes horrible players like Ronny Cedeno, D.J. Carrasco, Mike Pelfrey, Ruben Tejada, and many others who are certain to win this franchise no more than 20 games in a season. The truth is that whenever Hamels or any other Phillie player insults our team because of how bad we are, it seriously derails our self-esteem and we can’t have that happen anymore.”

If MLB does in fact accept the Mets’ forfeiture petition, it’s likely that a New York area high school team will be tapped to take their spot in the NL East, as high school-level is the closest talent comparison to the talent of the Mets.