Making his debut in a Bulls uniform, Carlos Boozer dropped 31 points in Tuesday night’s 118-97 thrashing of Phoenix, despite playing only the first three quarters. Boozer went on to do nothing and just sat there in the fourth quarter, which seems to be Tom Tibodeau’s plan for his starting big men this season.

Boozer said he was concerned before the game that the fans didn’t seem too excited about his return from the career-stalling, wall-punching/bar fight injury he suffered in late 2010.

“Most of the Chicago fans must have showed up late, I think we have some closet Suns fans too because I felt like some of the fans were treating me like their 12th favorite player on the team for the past year and a half.” Boozer said when asked how he felt during pregame warm-ups. “Maybe it was just the nerves, I haven’t been out there for warm-ups in two years.”

To add to his return to the NBA, Boozer paid to have a montage of all of his career dunks to be played on the scoreboard at the United Center during the 30 seconds between the starting lineups and tip-off. The NBA only had enough footage for the first 10 seconds, so the rest was filled with his best soft lay-ups and halfhearted attempts at defense.

Boozer also said he spent to summer gearing up for his return by giving up his all-cupcake diet and abandoning his post play all together. He added that most of his time was spent fine-tuning his signature double-rainbow fade away jump shot.

“I may look big and you might think I would be powerful down low, but really I’m just a big wuss,” said Boozer referring to his in-game adjustments. “The goal is for me to avoid contact all together. This way I won’t shatter like glass, and my biggest weakness of being weak won’t be exposed to other opponents.”

The double-rainbow fade was integral in the 26 points Boozer was able to put up in the first half. He was able to use his favorite move off of his other favorite the pick ‘n’ roll. This is where the defending team double-teams the ball-handler off a Boozer screens, therefore treating Boozer like a big pile of worthless he usually is. When asked of his successes off this play tonight all Boozer did was throw on a Santa hat and recite, “4 Pick ‘n’ Rolls!”