There’s a new A-Rod in town and his name is Aaron Rodgers. Alex Rodriguez has been legally forced to stop calling himself by his famous moniker, after a judge awarded the trademark to the Super Bowl champion quarterback.
“A-Rod is a classic sports nickname,” Judge Miles Conrad said. “But let’s be honest, no one, and I mean no one likes to root for Alex Rodriguez. That’s why I gave it to Rodgers, now there’s a kid you can root for.”
Rodgers accepted the nickname, but not before texting Rodriguez for his approval. Rodriguez told the Packers star he was okay with it and was ready to move on.
“’A-Rod’ and I had a great run,” Rodriguez said. “I’m excited about the idea of a new nickname, and welcome the fans to chime in and help decide.”
Fans around the world jumped at the opportunity to re-name Rodriguez, but most of the potential nicknames were too inappropriate to print. The top choice amongst fans so far — a short, simple, to the point, “A-Hole,” is the leading the pack.
“I saw him on the streets in Miami, and recommended he just go by ‘Seven,’” one Yankees fan said. “The fool thought I was comparing him to Mantle, but in reality it’s because he’s the seventh-best player on the Yankees at best.”
Rodriguez plans to unveil his new nickname sometime in early February, around the same time A-Rod hopes to be sliding another Super Bowl ring on his finger.