Two days after the league levied a $5,000 fine on Bears receiver Earl Bennett for wearing orange cleats during Monday night’s game against Philadelphia, the NFL turned its ire on commissioner Roger Goodell, a known ginger, for wearing orange hair during a press conference.

“Rules are rules,” said a league spokesman. “Roger should have thought about that before he paraded himself in front of the cameras with those bright orange locks, looking like some kind of freak sideshow begging for attention.”

Goodell has agreed to pay the fine.

“This fine makes exactly as much sense as the one we gave to [Earl] Bennett, so of course I’ll pay it,” said Goodell. “No man is above the law in the NFL.”

Heckler George