After spending the entire week boasting to everyone he knew in person and on Facebook that his Michigan State Spartans were going to “destroy” the Michigan Wolverines in Saturday’s football game, it came as a shock to Dan Torensen when he learned no one else in the country cares about the contest or the rivalry in general.

“Seriously? I thought every American was pumped up for today’s big game,” said Torensen, who now lives in Chicago. “I mean, c’mon. No. 11 vs. No. 23. This is the stuff that dreams are made of.”

The rest of the nation apparently disagrees with Torensen, including his roommate, Pete Sinclair, originally from suburban Chicago.

“It’s kind of pathetic that Dan thinks anyone other than people from Michigan care about this game,” said Sinclair. “Everyone knows Michigan is the most overrated team in college football. I mean, 11th nationally? Seriously? And I’m personally surprised Michigan State still has a football program. Have they ever been relevant?”

hecklerstaff