Bears head coach Lovie Smith’s frivolous use of timeouts may be shocking to analysts and fans, but one person isn’t at all surprised: Margie Burak, Smith’s kindergarten teacher at Big Sandy Elementary.

“He was the only kid I ever had that sent himself to the corner for timeouts,” said Burak. “It’s like he was obsessed. A very nice boy … but not the brightest student.”

According to Burak, little Lovie would use timeouts for the silliest reasons. For example, instead of going to the bathroom when he had to pee, he would use a timeout first and decide if he really wanted to go. Burak also had to put a limit on how many times Lovie could scold himself.

“I told him, ‘Lovie, you need to pace yourself or you’ll use all your timeouts before lunch,’” said Burak. “He didn’t quite get it, though. The concept of managing timeouts still seems to elude him, unfortunately. It’s not surprising since he never mastered how to tell time…”

Heckler George