If a bad economy, a lousy on-field product, no general manager and a clueless ownership group weren’t incentive enough to watch the Cubs in 2012, team brass thanked season ticket holders for their loyalty last week by sending out the annual Bend Over and Take it in the Keester letter informing them that the deadline to renew their seats for next season had been moved up from early January to Nov. 16.

“Do I buy my kids Christmas gifts this year or renew my tickets and get fired up to see 81 games of Jeff Baker as our new starting third baseman?” said season-ticket holder Kevin Thomas. “It’s a tough choice, but if the Cubs bring back Larry Himes as GM, it might sway my decision.”

The Cubs also unveiled 40 new tiers of ticket pricing for next year including the aluminum, brass, cadmium, cast iron, lead, mercury, tin, tungsten and cubic zirconium plans.

“We’re really excited to continue giving our fans the best baseball and Wrigley Field experience possible,” said team president Crane Kenney. “A family of four can now enjoy the Cast Iron Ticket Package, which includes four upper deck seats behind a pole to an April day game versus the Astros, and four Buffalo Burgers, new to the menu in 2012, for the affordable price of $189.99. And if you think that’s a great deal, wait until we unveil the Cubic Zirconium Plan later this year. All I can say right now is that it includes a meet and greet with John Gaub.”

By Jeremy Barewin

Jeremy Barewin