Mets GM Sandy Alderson announced today that Brewer mascot Bernie Brewer and a Miller Park fan greeter have been acquired to complete the July 13 trade of closer Francisco Rodriguez to the Brewers. Adding Bernie Brewer to the Met organization increases their mascot count to three including Bernie, Mr. Met and Mrs. Met.

Mrs. Met cleared waivers today and she will probably be dealt within the week to open up a roster spot for Bernie. Bernie’s duties with the Mets will include entertaining  the few fans that are in the lower levels of Citi Field for Met home games and replacing pitcher Mike Pelfrey in the Met pitching rotation.

“Bernie and Steve Phillips, the fan greeter [no relation to former Mets GM Steve Phillips], are two great additions to the New York Mets organization,” said Alderson. “Bernie’s great enthusiasm, curve ball and knowledge of beer and hops will undoubtedly help our organization in fan entertainment, overall on-field talent and alcohol sales. Steve, on the other hand, is the best greeter I have seen since my days with Oakland. Our top scouts have been looking at him for months instead of looking at potential draft picks, and the move worked out even better than I thought it would. No professional organization can win games without an All-Star greeter like Steve. Not being cocky, I did a great job with this move.”

Upon their arrival in New York, Bernie and Steve passed physicals with team trainer Ray Ramirez and both signed identical seven-year., $50 million contracts. Insiders were surprised Alderson spent so much money on such minimally talented employees instead of saving it to try and re-sign star shortstop Jose Reyes this off-season

“Actual players are overrated,” Alderson said. “Steve can play shortstop if he has to because he started on his tee ball team at shortstop for three years while he was in kindergarten and elementary school.”

By Josh Burton