The universal elation felt by Cubs fans over the dismissal of Jim Hendry quickly turned to the more familiar emotion of complete dismay with the news that Bears GM Jerry Angelo heads the short list of candidates to take over the position.

“Our general managers have proudly carried on a long tradition of incompetence for more than a century,” said owner Tom Ricketts. “Who better to pick up that torch than Jerry, who has already demonstrated a keen knack for disastrous financial mismanagement, as well as a lack of any basic ability to evaluate talent. He’s the perfect fit for us.”

Tracked down wandering aimlessly around Halas Hall, Angelo was already working the phones, trying to convince Olin Kreutz that he’d make a good catcher once he’s done leading the Saints to another Super Bowl title.

“Does anyone have Zambrano’s number?” Angelo asked. “We need to talk about a big extension. In fact, I’m giving Forte’s money to him.”