Getting outscored 34-12 in a four-game series by the hated Yankees is a pretty ugly stat. But drawing zero walks in that entire series is even uglier.
After the White Sox lack of plate discipline helped the Yankees sweep in Chicago for the first time since 1976, a fuming manager Ozzie Guillen called out GM Kenny Williams to make some drastic changes.
“F#$% bringing up [Dayan] Viciedo,” said Guillen during Thursday night’s postgame press conference. “Midgets. I want some damn midgets.”
Guillen apparently believes that taking the approach former Sox owner Bill Veeck used when he played 3’ 7” Eddie Gaedel when Veeck owned the St. Louis Browns will help the Sox woes. Gaedel walked on all four pitches he saw in his only plate appearance.
“We got to do something, and I’m out of ideas. Midgets will help… or at least make us look like a real freak show instead of this one we got now.”
Guillen said he would also be open to dwarfs, hobbits, and others with restricted growth joining the team if they could field better than the current Sox outfield.
“So long as they are no bigger than [Sox bench coach] Joey Cora, I will give them a shot.”